Satiricus was smirking like a cat that’d just lapped up a bucket of milk. Cappo looked at him but didn’t say anything and continued chugging his beer. The Back Street Bar was quieter than usual since several of the regulars were off to the dominoes competition in the neighbouring village. The two friends were both dismissive about dominoes being called a “sport” and hadn’t gone on that principle.
Cappo knew Satiricus would have to break down sooner rather than later.
“Have you read about the fuss some folks are making about the high-end radio sets bought by Gee-Con?” Satiricus suddenly blurted out, validating Cappo’s assessment.
“Budday!!$100M fuh jus’ 50 “raid-yo”?!”Cappo exclaimed. “Like dem bin wan’ fuh talk to people pan Mars or wha’?”
“Cappo, you’re making the same mistake like the news people,” Satiricus said with a satisfied smile. “These are special radios.”
“Dem musseebettadan special!” said Cappo, who couldn’t contain his amazement. “$2M a-piece jus’ fuh talk to people in de inteer-ya about dem vote!!”
“But that is the mistake everybody’s making, Cappo,” said Satiricus in a conspiratorial tone, as he leaned forward suddenly.
“Wha’ mistake?” demanded Cappo, while pulling his beer away in a defensive move.
“The mistake is these radios were to communicate WITHIN Gee-Con, not outside,” continued Satiricus in hushed tones.
“$2M “raid-yo” a-piece fuh talk inside??!!”Cappo was outraged and the volume of his reply signalled as much.
“Cappo you just didn’t “talk” with these radios,” said Satiricus. “When you spoke into them, it could add, subtract and multiply numbers of votes that were fed into them by voice.”
“Wha’ mekdemwaan’ fuh do da?” Cappo demanded.
“Cappo, it’s you and your party that complained how long it took for Gee-Con to deliver election results,” answered Satiricus. “The $100M was spent to speed up the count.”
“But de result still tek five days!” said Cappo indignantly. “Me bite me finga-nail to de bone when me bin a wait!” “Well, the radios did have a problem with the local Guyanese accent,” confessed Satiricus. “They were programmed in America to understand THEIR accent.”
“Wha’ mek?” said Cappo truculently.
“Well, after they helped us to “vote like a boss,” Satiricus confided, “they had to make sure Gee-Con counted like a boss.”